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[Sep. 22nd, 2007|05:35 pm] |
for the first time in quite awhile I don't have any desire to binge. Ever since I got back to school, I've just been in this mode where I've craved every awful thing and if I eat one thing I want to eat everything. I think it's mostly been due to stress and anxiety, and since some of that has been lifted, I just feel so much more focused. Focused on every aspect of my life. I'm not eating, but I'm so much more controlled in my studies. I've been doing my writing, I've been reading for classes that I would normally blow off, I've been losing weight. I haven't felt this sure of what's happening, this sure that I'm going to do better than ever before, going to be stronger than any other time.
The truth is, that I've been in such a depressive funk ever since last winter. You know when you get to that place in your life where you're suddenly not protected? Out of nowhere, you're on your own and you don't have the fallback right there and it's like all the bad things that keep happening tell you to just grow up? I think I hit that place last year and just never moved past it. I went into shock instead. |
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[Dec. 17th, 2006|05:22 pm] |
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Keeping my journal friends only for the time being. so add me! |
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beautyandbody's journal